There are many guides out there, aiming to prepare you for the coming fill-in-the-blank apocalypse. None of them are as important as Chuck Sambuchino’s How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack. While the others help prepare you for what might happen, this book helps you know what to do now, before the plaster menaces invade your home next week.
Sambuchino brings to light a threat hidden all around us. Garden gnomes have become more popular in recent years, and projections show their popularity will only increase. Unbeknownst to most of us, these insidious creatures are tricking the general populace into paying to have them in strategic locations, perfect for launching their inevitable invasions across the country (and even the world).
With a congenial, concerned tone, Sambuchino walks the reader through how to assess the threat level you face, how to protect yourself from scouting attempts, and how to set up defenses. He goes on to give proven tips on how to defend your home and yourself should all the above fail to have the desired effectiveness. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is solid information that is in rare supply these days.
While some may take this book as an attempt at humor regarding humans’ harmless predilection toward decorative garden ornaments, Sambuchino rightly shares convincing evidence that the gnomes are using our unbelief as an easy way to set us up for a dystopia of gnomish proportions. We must be vigilant!
This indispensable guide to living through this plastered hell is a quick read, at just over 100 pages. I strongly recommend picking up How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack and applying its principles as quickly as possible. They are watching, and it’s time to put a stop to their nefarious plans. This book belongs in every library!
Release Date: September 7, 2010 (USA)
ISBNs: 158008463X (9781580084635)
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
Language: 1 (very brief, mild)
Violence: 1 (descriptions of how gnomes attack, how to dispatch gnomes)